not a day goes by….

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that I don’t think of u, one second feeling the pain and loss all over again, the next feeling the utter rage and anger at what u did 2 me…part of me wants and wish 4 fire and brimstone 2 forever rain down over ur life, but most of the time I understand ur actions, and I would like 2 thank u 4 confirming my stand that everyone leaves, eventually ppl realize what kind of a horrible person I am and leaves, and u cemented that belief in me firmly.

I know most ppl think I should let go and move on, but that is not how I work..don’t get me wrong, my life HAS changed extremely much since we last spoke, I’m stronger today, or maybe just more thickskinned, what I do know is that u will never again b a part of my life, but I am not like u, I am only a human and I know I will falter and feel sad many more times, there r still things happening in my life that I would love 2 share w u, have our all night talks, but all I have 2 do 2 get over that state of mind is 2 remind me that u never cared one shit about my life, I still 2 this day have no idea why went 2 all that length 2 decieve and lie 2 me, what drove u 2 it, and how much u must have sat the laughing ur ass off every time I told u something personal and private, not 2 mention how u spread it 2 others on twitter and FB, how much u must have made fun of me behind my back, and when I think of that I usually start 2 cry, but aside from all that, I want 2 thank u 4 proving me right, ppl r not 2 b trusted and no one will ever b that close 2 me ever again!

so..thank u B…

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Trying to sum up a very dull year…

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and it’s an impossible task…the best thing about it is that I managed 2 get rid of an annoying person, no..wait..that’s the SECOND best thing…the best thing must b that I have a job finally! It’s not a permanent position…yet…but I hope it will b soon…

On other matters…my health isn’t that good..these past few months I sleep every chance I get…I am so tired most of the time I can hardly see what I type whenever I am on the computer..the only time I am somewhat alert is when I’m at work…

I am curious as 2 what this new year will bring me…I am usually not this exited about a new year coz most of the time I just expect it 2 b shitty…but 4 some reason…oh well..who knows…it’s only January right? bad stuff may still happen..

As 4 my wishes 4 this year…2 keep my job so that I might earn enough money 2 go 2 a few cons…I hardly dare say it but aside from Chevron I would LOVE 2 go ChiCon this year since it’s the last one ever…but I wont keep my hopes up..